Where do I go from here... I am so lost and unhappy.

I have always been dealt bad cards in my life. I have always been very unhappy and my heart has suffered for it. I am so lonely even with people around me. No one see my hurt because I chose to hide from everyone. I have lied to myself for so long that I believe the lies. I cry myself to sleep and dream of a better life for everyone. I can't blame anyone except myself for this rut. You make your own choice in lives and have to live with the consequences.

I am in such a bad place that is scares me. Looking into the tunnel for that light just shows me darkness,